have you ever felt in your heart that a decision you were about to make that
could would change your life forever, was not the right decision?
recently. like, the Lord confirmed it today.
it’s weird. almost odd, to think that I, yet again decided what was best for me. I didn’t feel comfort. I was anxious about the little things and couldn’t stop worrying about something that in the long run in the eyes of our Creator, doesn’t amount to anything.
things often change.
things. often change.
things often. change.
things often change.
the Lord has been changing my heart this past year.
Growing up in a christian home, going to church and following the Lord, I never wanted to go to a Christian College. I didn’t feel it was necessary or needed.
I was stuck. I was sick of
school community college. I was ready to be called overseas, but felt like it was not my time. Things didn’t make sense, I knew I had purpose but I couldn’t feel God calling or leading me anywhere. I was standing. Standing still. Not moving.
It was several months ago driving home from Canada, I gave it to the Lord.
“Father, I know you have called me to serve the Nations. I know that you have a reason you’ve brought me to this place in life. I know that my life has meaning, purpose and reason. I pray God that you allow your will to unfold in my life, so I can follow in the steps that you have laid down for me. So that I can become the Man that you’ve destined me to be. Father reveal your self to me. Please, Father. Reveal yourself to me. I don’t want the whole plan just a direction to start heading”.
I wasn’t even done praying before He said the one word, that I will never forget.
I heard His voice.
Like He was sitting in the car with me — imagine that. Jesus, sitting shotgun, listening intently, while I’m pouring my emotions out to Him. Speaking truthfully about the status of my heart and He answered. My Jesus, Answered me.
When I got home I applied. I was accepted. Yet, for some selfish reason that wasn’t good enough. I applied to other schools. I think that in some twisted way I decided that I could find a college better then Multnomah so I could at least have options. Looking back now: why do we do that to our God? He gives us a direction. He points us the way He wants after we tell Him we are ready for the next step. He speaks clearly to us. Yet, we still don’t allow Him to fully take control. We hold the reigns just as tight as before.
When the Lords speaks to our life: We Don’t Need Options. He Has Spoken. What more do we need? What more do we search for?
In the Fall I will be attending
Azusa Pacific University
Multnomah Bible College & Biblical Seminary in Portland, Oregon.
The Lord & I have been wrestling these past few months and I’m glad to say, He’s won. He’s taught me a lot about myself in areas I had come to believe I had nothing more to learn.
He’s taught me the things I thought matter, really don’t matter–
- to His plan,
- to His Kingdom or
- to His purpose on my life
So He’s taking care of the finances. He’s taking care of the details. Right now I am content with His promise to prosper me and His plans for my future. He’s holding me. He’s taken my fears, my worries and my anxiety because He continues to remind me, He Will Provide.
I took the step. I listened to His Call.
I started to move. I’m following where He leads.
I Will Be Attending Multnomah Bible College & Biblical Seminary, Fall 2011.
I will be studying Biblical Studies & Intercultural Studies, TESOL
Radical. my #oneword. I never truly understood how exactly that one word would so drastically be the theme to this year. so far 5 months in & I’m so excited to see what the 2nd part of the year has to offer.
Prayers, as always are always a welcomed blessing.
Continuing to Fully Surrender, Everyday.